I don’t seem to be able to pull off the nicely packaged blog posts.  The ones with a funny beginning, intriguing middle, and pull it all together end.  I love those!  It’s so nice when it feels like I’m in class and what I’m reading is just exactly what I need to be learning and the one teaching me has got her act together.  It makes it easy to trust her…she’s prepared and she has honed this thing, baby.  So far, that vibe seems to elude me.  Ha!

I cannot resist the urge to transparently blurb out my wrestle and my fumble as I crank these words out.  But I hope I get better at that.  Preparation would likely make the difference, don’t you think?? So you bear with me so kindly as you patiently read my ramble until I get into some words that are the real deal.  That’s what makes you such a jewel: you bear with me in the process of becoming.  I only hope I offer that same space to you.

Two and a half weeks since my last post.  Let’s see, how many times have I regretted opening the topic of womanhood up? So many times.  Lost count.  The thoughts go something like this: Where do I start? Where do I start? Where do I start?  What do I think? What do I think? What do I think? What are you saying, Father? What are you saying, Father? What are you saying, Father? What is that thing I feel? What is that thing I feel? What is that thing I feel?  WHY did I choose something as big as the ocean?????

The topic continues to stir around for me so here we still are together. And I remind myself that you aren’t reading these words because you’re looking for an expert, or for one specific answer, and that, ahem, I can lighten up! Lightening up seems to be a key for me in life :).  More than positioning myself as a teacher/expert – you know what would make my heart burst? Being a part of you taking the next step forward that He has for you.  Being a voice that urges you forward and further into Truth.  He is fully capable of getting each of us to the end-goal all on His own.  So, if I can be a friend along the way that cheers loudly enough to make putting the foot down on the next place He has for your foot as little easier, then I will do my happy dance.  It’s the same dance I do for Liam when he can say his Scripture verse for school without any cues from me….it’s silly, it’s wild and it’s loud!

Thank you for your transparent and generous responses to the questions I asked in the last post!!! I was a little blown away at how much time you gave to answer fully.  Each answer pushed me further into intrigue.  And it affirmed that womanhood is indeed a beautiful mountain worth ascending and digging into.

I’m going to work my way into pondering your answers.  They have been tucked away but bits and pieces of them keep popping back into my thoughts.  For today, I thought I’d try answering them myself.  It’s my next step, hehe!

Let’s see:

What is the thing that trips you up the most in womanhood?
Just one?! Seeing pictures of or catching a glimpse my naturally occurring double chin. Here’s the pic. 

Honestly, I couldn’t capture it in its full glory.  But I was getting embarrassed of taking selfies in the coffee shop. 

Is a double chin the worst thing in womanhood? Nah. But does it trip me up? Uh huh.   

On a more meaningful note, one thing that consistently trips me up as a woman, as a person, is encountering anyone who is doing something differently than I am.  And, that’s a lot of tripping up obviously.  The small differences don’t mess with me so much…it’s more the big things that put me on a different road than someone I care about.  Doing anything differently than my mom (Do you know her??? She’s great and worthy of modeling after)….choosing a different school for my kids than my neighbor, my dear friends…adhering to different parenting philosophies than my friends do….spending money differently than others do….you get the idea.

What is one of your dreams as it relates to being the woman you were created to be?
I dream of being brave and I dream of not having the strong urge to run and hide when I think about that woman He is calling me.  Cue ‘Oceans.’  Cue ‘You Make Me Brave.’  

What is something you tend to admire in other women, again and again?

I admire women who aren’t afraid to look other women in the eyes.  I admire women who have tackled jealousy – those who have much but sit right down for a deep conversation with one who has little.  And the one who has meager posessions but confidently steps into the life of the one who has much – knowing that she carries the Author of All in her.  I admire women who are old in years but keep letting the Lord teach them and who keep being changed by His love.  That’s a complex thing.  

What has God taught you about womanhood?

Ahhhhhh here’s the digging question.  You guys had some beautiful responses.  I’m going to try freeflowing my thoughts: He’s taught me that womanhood has nothing to do with weakness and instead it requires a very complex strength.  And He’s taught me that sometimes weakness is the doorway to true strength.  He’s taught me that women are forged in the valleys and that the valleys are not always worth my fight against them.  He’s taught me that my husband is a contributor to my sense of womanhood…but this path is one that only God and I can walk together.  It’s a journey for the two of us and sometimes He uses him to speak into it or encourage it or provide a stumble here or there…but it’s really work that can only be done between Him and me.  He’s been teaching me about physical beauty and the role it plays in womanhood.  I hear voice after voice saying that our physical beauty is not our worth, our measure or our identity.  All true.  But we’re missing something.  Very much chewing on that one.

I’m going to keep delving…..keep delving with me!

Love,
Abi (and Melissa, Carrie, Connie, Gina, Kim, Lindsay, Rusty, Jillian, Summer, Amanda, and Lauren)