On August 3, 2011 I was awake for a similar reason. I was awake because I was 8 days overdue and an ultrasound showed almost no amniotic fluid left for Liam – so it was time to induce. This time, it’s Shepherd’s turn. Still inducing but so many different circumstances. It’s a week early (myself as a first time mom would have balked at inducing early/not giving the baby enough time/tampering with nature/the list goes on). But my heart is too excited to sleep.
Hey, this time around IS better because the night before we went in for Liam’s big day I slept a whopping ONE HOUR before go-time. This time, I got in a glorious four hours :).
This time, I have had the joy (well, looking back it was a joy and in the moment it was the thing that made me cranky/edgy/and brow furrowed) of experiencing early labor. Startling because I felt nary one little twinge when I was carrying Liam – even all those days past my due date. So these twinges, sensations and hmmmmms have been a beautiful thing.
It’s so surreal to have carried a baby for 9 months and know that within hours he will have escaped my insides to lay on my chest. It is something sacred and I am filled with gratitude this morning. Gratitude and a bit of a foggy head because four hours of sleep doesn’t usually cut it.
I go into today trusting in the One who got me through Liam’s big day which ended in a c-section. I go into the process hopeful and full of faith and anticipation for a delivery without surgery. BUT knowing that surgery is a miracle in and of itself. That the greatest gift is the miracle of life created, carried and ushered into the outside world.
Isn’t it odd to be on the brink of something so huge and to have no idea or control over how it will go? Such a beautiful and challenging opportunity to press into trust and let go.
My next post will be an introduction of sorts. My life will have been turned very upside down and I’ll have two boys. I’ll be exhausted. But so happy. And I’ll be able to bend over without wanting to curse. And I’ll be able to eat that brownie without a thought of gestational diabetes. And I’ll have way too many pictures to be considered moderate. And I’ll have a story of faithfulness – with beautiful twists and turns.
Happy Monday, my friends. I’m off to meet another little man who will change me forever.
Lots of love,