Whew! Last week was a buy one! I kept meaning to get this post up and it just didn’t happen.
Before I jump in let me just say that THIS weekend we got to celebrate my mom’s birthday at one of our favorite Tulsa spots – Wild Fork. If you’re looking for the best brunch in Tulsa – look no further! It was a real treat to get to celebrate her and we were seated in the section of one of our very favorite people – Crystal Patrick! She made Mom’s birthday even more special. 🙂 So happy birthday Momma and I sure do love you!
Last weekend, we had house guests. Not just any house guests mind you – some of our very dearest friends in the world….allllllll the way from Plano, Texas! Meet Randy and Rebecca White…true gems of the great state of Texas.
To say that we had a great weekend with them is putting it mildly. We had such a delightful dinner out on the town on Friday night, a great breakfast at – you guessed it – Wild Fork on Saturday and then the boys golfed the afternoon away while Rebecca and I shopped the afternoon away and got pedicures with my mom. Saturday was bookended by dinner at one of our other favorite spots – Lanna Thai. To which – Rebecca and I both wore outfits made of 100% sweatshirt. Ahhhhhhhh a true friend!
Everything that we did together was a treat. But the weekend was great for reasons so far beyond was was done together. It was great because there is simply nothing like being with people who know you so well that the relaxation is instantaneous, the laughter is free flowing, and the hearts are safe in sharing. If you have lived for a few years, you know that this is a precious gift!
There is something so renewing about being with friends that know the truest you. And love you just the same.
And for all you girls (which I assume 99.5% of my readers are LOL), you know how much the couple dynamic can affect a friendship. If your significant other isn’t that connected to your friend’s S.O. – well, it can be challenging. God blessed me and Rebecca when He gave us Zion and Randy. To some, it may be an unlikely pairing – a salesman and an engineer. But – they simply defy all odds and just kind of get each other. Which makes my friendship with Rebecca all the easier to enjoy and continue growing in.
So about the lesson part – here’s what I have seen so far in life: In each of my significant friendships (if they have been developed for a long enough period of time), you will have a moment or a series of moments where the friendship is tough. The temptation is strong to bail and to say – ‘see ya later!’ It’s inevitable. It’s even normal. Nonetheless – always surprising.
Rebecca and I met our freshman year at OU and were members of the same sorority. Our sophomore year – we were roommates in the house and a bond was forged. We had so many great times together! Our friendship grew each year….and then senior year hit. No one needs the details but we each did things that hurt the other. Can you believe it???? Friends hurting each other! LOL. But for us, the entire year was a tough one and I know that both of us took our time to give each other space. BUT – and my yes there is a big BUT – we chose the friendship in the end. It wasn’t easy and it required both of us to forgive and choose to love. Can I just say that there is not one day that I am not thankful that we chose to move forward together as friends?
Today, Rebecca knows me like few outside of family do. She loves me with consistency and we are stuck together for life. And yet – we came this close to walking away from it all. Can you relate? I am certainly not saying that each friendship is meant for a lifetime. But – I am saying that each time I have decided not to exit a friendship because of hurt, awkwardness, or rejection – the payoff has been eternal.
So – take heart friend. You were meant for relationship. And friendship means human beings. And human beings mean imperfections. And imperfections cause all sorts of fun in life don’t they? But, love is worth it. Getting hurt is worth it as long as it’s not an abusive pattern. Being a good friend is the beginning of receiving good friendship in return.
Friendship is not about talking every day on the phone. In fact, we go weeks without talking on the phone simply because neither of us are big phone talkers. It’s about reaching out when you sense a need or you have a need. It’s about always being there – regardless of how little or much time you have to offer. It’s about loving each other for the potential that you see and the truth of the destiny you know they have ahead. It’s about dying to self and living to Christ.
I am so thankful for friends like Rebecca Sue. And I am thankful for you. God has brought dear people into my life and my heart and I am so dependant on Him continuing to teach me how to love well. So – be encouraged today. A friend loves at all times – even the hard ones – so hang in there.
We can’t wait for our next chance to get down to Plano to see the Whites. Let me just tell you it will be a busy weekend because of all the food we discussed needing to eat! On the list: their favorite Tex Mex place, the mysterious Taco Trail taco joints, In and Out Burger, and Alligator Cafe – apparently in a sketchy part of town but with Cajun food on par with New Orleans. I’m IN!